


Ham Squah: Squahler Sisters

by gamegrumpsfanimated



Series: Ham Squah [18]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: George Washington is a Dad, Multi, Other, alex is a gremlin, save him, text fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 23:13:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11114907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gamegrumpsfanimated/pseuds/gamegrumpsfanimated
Summary: thomason: [begonethot.png]thomason: oops my bad i meant to send that to Angelica





	Ham Squah: Squahler Sisters

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! :) new fic coming soon (hopefully a Heathers one!)
> 
> Title from Ryan!

jawnlawn: ok i think. we need to fix up this GC  
  
laffytaffy: why in the world would you say that >:(  
  
angel: yeah aren't our memes spicy enough? i thought you liked them :(  
  
jawnlawn: we need to get rid of the memes!!!  
  
thomason: gasp....  
  
pegleg: JOHN WHAT THE HELL HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU  
  
angel: LISTEN  
  
laffytaffy: get rid of the memes?!  
  
elizard: but laurens that's all we are  
  
marialews: without the memes....  
  
mulligone: we're nothing without memes john  
  
jawnlawn: LISTEN I KNOW  
  
hamfam: y'all don't worry john is just really hungover right now im with him  
  
hamfam: don't listen to anything he says  
  
jawnlawn: ALEX you weren't supposed to tell them that :(  
  
hamfam: oops?  
  
sirburr: isn't john always hungover though?  
  
mulligone: that's not true  
  
laffytaffy: yes john never gets hungover  
  
laffytaffy: @ john what happened buddy :(  
  
jawnlawn: listen... im in pain  
  
jawnlawn: also did you know that voldemorts name in the Spanish version of harry potter translates to Mr Spooky  
  
angel: no but im glad i know now  
  
thomason: ....mr spooky?  
  
pegleg: MR SPOOKY  
  
hamfam: please don't encourage him he's been babbling about this since last night nonstop  
  
elizard: too late alex we're encouraging him  
  
marialews: hey eliza call me mr spooky from now on  
  
elizard: actually nvm we're not gonna encourage john anymore  
  
angel: hey....................  
  
angel: i actually gotta go to the store and buy stuff like a Responsible Adult what do you guys want  
  
jawnlawn: iced tea imported from england  
  
hamfam: the entire continent of europe  
  
laffytaffy: the head of an infant  
  
mulligone: ROCKS I LOVE TO EAT ROCKS  
  
pegleg: I NEED SIX EGGS  
  
elizard: the cow as white as milk  
  
marialews: the cape as red as blood  
  
elizard: the hair as yellow as corn  
  
marialews: the slipper as pure as gold  
  
angel:   
  
angel: why do you guys fucking do this  
  
angel: im getting all of you a hand mirror so you can look your sins in the face  
  
angel: and think about what you've done  
  
angel: bye sluts  
  
thomason: wait angie  
  
angel: -_- what  
  
thomason: can you get some milk. im out and i already have a bowl of cereal out  
  
angel: ok  
  
sirburr: oh yeah angel can you get me something too  
  
angel: no  
  
angel: anyways goodbye sluts  
  
thomason: entyways  
  
thomason: im taking angels place until she gets back  
  
thomason: what does she even usually do in this chat tbh  
  
pegleg: "hey guys im gonna take a nap"  
  
elizard: "hoe hour!! for y'all. i, angel, am not a hoe"  
  
hamfam: "i love the spice girls"  
  
jawnlawn: idk she's usually bein dumb  
  
angel: if i see you talking shit in my notifs again ill fucking strangle you  
  
jawnlawn: can you even reach  
  
angel: im not alex, john. im 6'0". yes i can fucking reach  
  
jawnlawn: oh  
  
hamfam: angie im not that short  
  
elizard: wym you're a gremlin  
  
hamfam: D: Eliza!!!!!!  
  
elizard: don't worry i still love you <3  
  
elizard: my little gremlin friend  
  
mulligone: she's right you're a little nightroll alex  
  
laffytaffy: a goblin  
  
marialews: the eighth dwarf  
  
hamfam: THIS IS BULLYING  
  
laffytaffy: it's true petit chou  
  
hamfam: you're not allowed to call me a little cabbage when you're harassing me like this >:(  
  
marialews: listen  
  
marialews: we bully you because we love you  
  
hamfam: ITS SLANDER  
  
mulligone: not if it's true  
  
jawnlawn: gremlin boy<3  
  
jawnlawn: MY gremlin boy<33  
  
marialews: ...awhh  
  
hamfam: IM CALLING THE POLICE  
  
hamfam: WASHINGTON WHEREVER U ARE HELP ME  
  
washingdone: ....why  
  
hamfam: THEYRE BEING MEAN TO ME  
  
washingdone: Alex I know you may look the part but you're not in kindergarten  
  
hamfam: NO NO NO NO  
  
laffytaffy: top ten anime betrayals  
  
mulligone: ouch that was hard to look at rip Alex  
  
hamfam: I have been.......... Abandoned  
  
hamfam: i am dying  
  
jawnlawn: don't die if u die who will I give big gay smooches to :(  
  
hamfam: Lafayette probably  
  
laffytaffy: non i am already receiving big gay smooches from Hercules  
  
mulligone: herc the berc  
  
laffytaffy: please not this shit again  
  
jawnlawn: AYYY ITS MY BUDDY HERCULES THE BERCULES  
  
thomason: [begonethot.png]  
  
thomason: my bad i meant to send that to Angelica  
  
hamfam: stop talking to my best friend at once  
  
thomason: she's my best friend too  
  
hamfam: SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND FIRST!!!!!!!  
  
washingdone: please  
  
pegleg: blease  
  
sirburr: hello  
  
marialews: blease  
  
sirburr: goodbye  
  
madisin: wait burr don't leave  
  
thomason: yeah Burr stick around  
  
pegleg: the funs only just begun  
  
washingdone: please  
  
jawnlawn: blease  
  
sirburr: sometimes i wonder why im friends with you guys  
  
hamfam: easy. we're not friends  
  
sirburr: oh  
  
washingdone: alex that wasn't nice  
  
hamfam: im not nice  
  
elizard: now that we're done stating the obvious  
  
jawnlawn: hey alex  
  
hamfam: what  
  
jawnlawn: we're getting a divorce  
  
hamfam: is this because i said you needed to brush your hair  
  
jawnlawn: yes >:'(  
  
laffytaffy: he's marrying herc and i  
  
jawnlawn: yeah you really hurt my feelings >:(  
  
jawnlawn: you know my hair gets too poofy when i brush it  
  
hamfam: but i like your hair all poofy!!!  
  
pegleg: poofy hair is cute to look at but not cute to manage :/  
  
thomason: ^^^  
  
laffytaffy: Peggy is right  
  
pegleg: im always right  
  
angel: hey guys I'm back but I have to go back to the store  
  
angel: [glassofmilk.png]  
  
angel: can you guys watch my milk while im gone  
  
jawnlawn: ok  
  
elizard: of course sis  
  
angel: .....alright see y'all  
  
thomason: [spilledmilk.png] oops  
  
pegleg: [brokenglasscup.png] fuck  
  
hamfam: [tippedmilk.png] shit  
  
sirburr: guys wtf Angie's gonna be so mad  
  
angel: ok i just needed to buy some nail polish where's my milk  
  
jawnlawn: ᵘʰʰʰʰʰʰ  
  
angel: GUYS WTF  
  
sirburr: sorry  
  
washingdone: no use crying over spilled milk  
  
hamfam: uuuuughhhhh  
  
laffytaffy: father that joke was awful  
  
thomason: [begonethot.png]  
  
angel: how much do i have to pay for you to never say anything like that ever again  
  
pegleg: [deletethis.png]  
  
washingdone: no respect :(  
  
angel: sorry daddy america  
  
washingdone: don't call me that  
  
hamfam: would you rather we call you daddy  
  
washingdone: NO  
  
pegleg: ohh all caps we upset daddy  
  
laffytaffy: OwO what's this?  
  
thomason: y'all a mess  
  
hamfam: tell me about it  
  
jawnlawn: can't say that when ur part of the mess boo ;*  
  
angel: HEY GUYS  
  
marialews: what  
  
angel: just took like ten buzzfeed quizzes and im a ravenclaw bitches  
  
jawnlawn: but you're not smart  
  
angel: CAW CAW BITCHES  
  
hamfam: well im a slytherin so hiss hiss motherfucker  
  
hamfam: ssssssssnake  
  
hamfam: im a sssssnake  
  
hamfam: hey where did my arms go  
  
hamfam: just kidding im a ssssssssnake  
  
elizard: well that proves it. Alex has gone fucking crazy  
  
elizard: anyways hufflepuff pride dumb bitches  
  
pegleg: fuck u im a ravenclaw... caw caw  
  
marialews: gryffindor pride B)  
  
laffytaffy: screw all of you  
  
jawnlawn: GRYFFINDOR PRIIIIIIIIIIDE  
  
mulligone: slytherin priiiiide. hissss  
  
thomason: no wonder Alex & herc are in slytherin. y'all are snakes IRL  
  
hamfam: i will strangle you  
  
thomason: can you even reach babygirl? we already discussed this, me and angel are the tallest here  
  
laffytaffy: um  
  
thomason: and laf  
  
hamfam: please don't start this again  
  
jawnlawn: MY GREMLIN BF!!!! I LOVE HIM!!! <3<3<3<3  
  
hamfam: @ god cmon smite me already what's taking so long

**Author's Note:**

> Title suggestions always welcome!


End file.
